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krystle817

Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 3:22am) | Search for a member

krystle817

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 August 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 344
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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krystle817's page activity

Visits<b>xnikkilynn</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:13pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:28am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:37pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:18am<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:52am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 5:51pm<b>ruahogfan2</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 8:07am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 5:47am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:54pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:13am<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:31am<b>Ishq786</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 6:35am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 5:32pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 9:31am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:07pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:46pm<b>maz95</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 8:00am<b>adorable6</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 5:47am

Liked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:38am

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krystle817's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45905) - you deserved it (3483)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39269) - you deserved it (5574)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55903) - you deserved it (32897)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79622) - you deserved it (4090)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28465) - you deserved it (5995)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36261) - you deserved it (8079)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47705) - you deserved it (3567) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34250) - you deserved it (2833)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31282) - you deserved it (5371)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42799) - you deserved it (7089)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (11347)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35310) - you deserved it (7605)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (4706)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21269) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

#20167793
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (3183)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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