I'm Krystal.
I'm 14, I play guitar, I'm in love with music, I'm taken(02-14-09), I'm Christian and I love Jesus Christ, I hang out a lot--I love it, I love movies, I love going to shows, I'm really loud and outgoing, I'm really silly and take on any dare, I live life. That's about 0.01 % of my life that you just read, so talk to me, I don't bite... unless you're into that sorta thing :)
myspace.com/hackingkrystal
youtube.com/krystalkatastrofie
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
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On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML
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On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38314) - you totally deserved it (3566)
On 06/19/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by thissucks (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you totally deserved it (2880)
On 06/19/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML
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On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
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On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
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On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
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On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
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On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52229) - you totally deserved it (9408)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
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On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I wrote a poem for this guy I am falling for. Before telling him that I wrote it, he read it and then laughed at how "corny and stupid" it was because he would "never date someone who could come up with something that lame." The poem was about how vulnerable he makes me feel. FML
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On 06/11/2009 at 2:12am - love - by seablue (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was vacuuming my car and started to joke around with my six year old brother by sucking up his shirt and hair with the vacuum. I accidently sucked up his penis. My mom has caught him three times with the vacuum now. I turned my brother into a pervert. FML
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On 06/11/2009 at 12:12am - kids - by Perv (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML
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On 06/10/2009 at 9:43pm - love - by Ryuga (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door "Are you jacking off in there or something?!" and him scream back at her "Shut up you F*ing cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
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On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
