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kronicrevenge

Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 11:01pm) | Search for a member

kronicrevenge

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  • Number of visits : 179
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Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 6:28pm<b>yupitssoph</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 7:22am

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kronicrevenge's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, a friend sent me to a guy he knows who repairs various electronics for a very low price. Good news: he fixed my malfunctioning iPad. Bad news: it took me several hours to notice that he'd carved the words DOUCHE and HIPSTER into the back panel. FML

#20934676
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36347) - you deserved it (6993)

On 10/26/2013 at 3:48pm - money - by fuckyouverymuch - United States (California)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63513) - you deserved it (8097)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48803) - you deserved it (4327)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50462) - you deserved it (10841)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (44883)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (2301)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24570) - you deserved it (2180)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (6498)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (1723)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

#19460120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (3678)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (2424)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (4420)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11397) - you deserved it (36655)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31744) - you deserved it (4976)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom



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