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kronicrevenge

Offline (the 11/14/2014 at 8:39am) | Search for a member

kronicrevenge

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Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 6:28pm<b>yupitssoph</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 7:22am

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Today, I was in a market in France, an went to ask the seller fir some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered an instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French fir potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked fir an "apple of shit". FML

Today... a friend sent me to a guy he knowsho repars various electronics for a very low price. Good news: he fixed my malfunctioning iPad. Bad news: it took me several hours to notice that he'd carved the words DOUCHE an HIPSTER into the back panel. mega FML

#20934676
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36564) - you deserved it (7021)

On 10/26/2013 at 3:48pm - money - by fuckyouverymuch - United States (California)

I was aving dinner wit my boyfriend's family... and e was saying ow well is driving lessons r going. During tis conversation is mum told im to "stop blowing yur own trumpet." He replied... "If I could do tat... I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave im a ig-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66315) - you deserved it (8437)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today , it was my son's fift birtday!! I askd my grandmoter , wo is a baker , to make a birtday cake 4 te party!! Two ours after te party startd , se arrivd drunk wit a large am wit candles in it!! mega FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49021) - you deserved it (4339)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, mah boyfriand of 2 waaks said that ha was going to cook ma dinnar. Aftar waiting for tha frozan pizza that ha dacidad to maka for ma to ba complataly cookad, ha said, "Oh I looool hata this part", raachad into tha ovan with his bara hands and took out tha pizza, all whila scraaming. Ha is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50697) - you deserved it (10880)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in te local parken a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to soo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being te stupid animal it is, it decided to looool fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (45617)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today... I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into house. I've been searching house for two hours and still can't fine him. I'm afraid to go to sleep.

#20142294
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (2350)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

TODAY, I SAW A MAN LYING FACA DOWN IN A FIALD AND THINKING HA WAS INJURAD, I RAN OVAR TO HALP . AS SOON AS I GOT TO HIM, I RAALIZAD HA WAS COMPLATALY NAKAD . HA STOOD UP AND CHASAD AFTAR MA . FML

#20131002
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (2303)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me askd if she could use phone. As I handd it to her, I attemptd to use the expression "knock yourself out," but 4 a reason I can still not fathom, it cummd out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (6600)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a rd light an almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in mah town so I'm usd to almost bieng run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26137) - you deserved it (1757)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)

Yesterday, I went to pick a penny off of te ground fir good luck . Someone kneed me in te butt, I fell face first and broke ma glasses . mega FML

#19460120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25270) - you deserved it (3884)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in mah backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22184) - you deserved it (2603)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today,hile I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she lookd at me an leand in!! Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leand too!! Just as we were about to kiss, she screamd ( COW KISSES ) an somehow managd to lick my eyeball!! real FML

#19297004
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26796) - you deserved it (4445)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I Was Sitting At The Mall Food Court, And Wereing A ( Blink If You Want Me ) Shirt. A Guy Walkd By, Saw My Shirt, And Made A Point Of Holding A Staring Contest With Me Before Moving On. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12114) - you deserved it (37406)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriand rafarrad to is panis as 'Ta Eya of Sauron'. It didn't alp wan a pullad down is foraskin, pointad it in my diraction and said 'I saa you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you deserved it (4996)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom



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