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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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kristen_lesli

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kristen_lesli
  • Town/Country : mytown, here
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 291
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kristen_lesli : k.lez in da howwwzz!!! :D

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kristen_lesli's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML

#9111538 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (4611)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

#9111190 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (5419) - you deserved it (15101)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (30850) - you deserved it (6136)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I received notice that I had not been paying my bills and had an outstanding debt of $2074. Apparently, my 7 year old son has been taking my mail and playing "mailman" for the past 3 months. FML

#8206744 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (15874) - you deserved it (6465)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:21pm - money - by Jeffrey - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

#6976652 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (3380) - you deserved it (29986)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by LaurenLehmmman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking to a friend of mine over webcam, when I saw a scary looking man in a grey hoodie creeping around in the background. I loudly proclaimed "Paige! Who is that creepy looking guy behind you?" Turns out it was her mom. She heard everything. FML

#6271933 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (14670) - you deserved it (6783)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Sursion (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that whenever a mistake is made at my work, my boss assumes that it was me, unless indicated otherwise, but he has never said anything to me about it because of my 'learning disorder'. I don't have a learning disorder. FML

#6078927 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (1459)

On 10/31/2009 at 1:20am - work - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

#5675948 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (27898) - you deserved it (2313)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at halloween costumes online for this years halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

#5217172 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (28001) - you deserved it (2369)

On 09/12/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML

#4753654 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (4661) - you deserved it (19039)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Scared - United States (Washington)

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

#4476894 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (14194) - you deserved it (26235)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:02pm - misc - by signupsheetfail (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I am allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

#3981210 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (12415) - you deserved it (28849)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:43pm - animals - by emmey (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (46079) - you deserved it (6572)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got fired from a large oil and energy service company after 5 and 1/2 months. The interview process to land the job took 8 months. My interview process was longer than my job. FML

#2884075 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (28329) - you deserved it (2424)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake I ask him jokingly why he isnt wearing red. He looks at me weird and says "Oh... you didnt get my text?" FML

#642666 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (79877) - you deserved it (3202)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)