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Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (3406)
On 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (3278)
On 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (2059)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)
Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19326) - you deserved it (38478)
Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21906) - you deserved it (2137)
Today, my kids thought it would be funny to put pictures of naked men and women as people's ID on my phone. They won't tell me how to change it back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16746) - you deserved it (20015)
On 06/19/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Momma - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16031) - you deserved it (6682)
On 04/02/2010 at 7:33am - misc - by Gina - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35414) - you deserved it (19741)
On 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm - love - by spitballer1 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54240) - you deserved it (10211)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - love - by ThanksMa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90349) - you deserved it (3186)
On 03/13/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by depresso (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47133) - you deserved it (11845)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (40582)
On 02/21/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by acincollege (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (25993)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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