kristadoodle

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Offline (the 04/18/2015 at 1:13am)

kristadoodle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 September 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2223
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kristadoodle : Favorite movies: Casshern, Princess Mononoke, Nausicaa of the valley of the wind, Goemon, Cloud Atlas, &Seven pounds. :D

kristadoodle's page activity

Visits<b>LizKhalifa7</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 2:14pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:14am<b>Abskb1</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:06am<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:16am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:20pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:18pm<b>ocramavaf</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:19am<b>thatkid00117</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 7:44pm<b>McGinger</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 2:22pm<b>Zehkrom</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 6:40am<b>football325</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 4:18pm<b>Slycooper997</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 11:04pm<b>lynniemouse19</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 11:14pm<b>lenoil06</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 9:23pm<b>LilCheeno</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 9:32pm<b>eyesak</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 4:07pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 3:34pm

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kristadoodle's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

by booksandshadows / 03/04/2014 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

by Ms. Piggy / 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

by gaiakirkland / 02/15/2014 at 6:18am / Italy (Lombardia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 11:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

by alii2349 / 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

by soon to be unemployed / 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Work

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids