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kristadoodle

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kristadoodle
  • Town/Country : Porterville, North America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 373
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kristadoodle : Favorite movies: Casshern, Princess Mononoke, Nausicaa of the valley of the wind, Goemon, Cloud Atlas, &Seven pounds. :D

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kristadoodle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40090) - you deserved it (3727)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45664) - you deserved it (7507)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

#21056743
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40540) - you deserved it (8274)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42618) - you deserved it (7556)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41612) - you deserved it (8937)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46611) - you deserved it (15543)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44117) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35390) - you deserved it (4671)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60090) - you deserved it (11289)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

#20566302
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41427) - you deserved it (3478) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70668) - you deserved it (6034)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34168) - you deserved it (8828)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (15467)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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