Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

krisnick

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

krisnick

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 June 1969 (45 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4852
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

krisnick's page activity

Visits<b>immaloser95</b> - yesterday at 7:26pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 6:52am<b>Alienfran</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:28am<b>stillalive33</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 8:46am<b>Dramori</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:45am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:12am<b>geesem</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:09am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:08pm<b>facelick</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:51am<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:40pm<b>Dicebar</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:19pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:18pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Mattaguirre_</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:52pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:42am<b>GuitarFail123</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 7:31am<b>azelk</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:28pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:20pm

krisnick's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of krisnick's badges

krisnick's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML

#21395050
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19439) - you deserved it (1621)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:24am - love - by apparently_disabled - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

#21395025
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (1355)

On 04/17/2015 at 12:56am - health - by Camera - United States (California)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24972) - you deserved it (3985)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend started bitching me out about how public proposals are unfair and how they pressure a girl to say yes. All I did was get on my knee to tie a loose shoelace. FML

#21392927
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30575) - you deserved it (2451)

On 04/13/2015 at 12:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31013) - you deserved it (2677)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32206) - you deserved it (2236)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (2865)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15237) - you deserved it (20118)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (2260)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27161) - you deserved it (4716)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (5803)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was working in the garden, when some fire ants ran up my shorts and bit me on an intimate part of my anatomy. My 4 year old nephew will not stop telling people about my rapid strip tease. FML

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

#21392030
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (2247)

On 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm - misc - by scared4myhair - United States (Michigan)

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (8797)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30249) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: