Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

krisnick

Online | Search for a member

krisnick

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 June 1969 (45 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3395
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

krisnick's page activity

Visits<b>Alienfran</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:28am<b>stillalive33</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 8:46am<b>Dramori</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:45am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:12am<b>geesem</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:09am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:08pm<b>facelick</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:51am<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:40pm<b>Dicebar</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:19pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:18pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Mattaguirre_</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:52pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:42am<b>GuitarFail123</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 7:31am<b>azelk</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:28pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:20pm<b>ewang_</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:21am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:19pm

krisnick's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of krisnick's badges

krisnick's favorite FMLs

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML

#21347069
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9490) - you deserved it (1978)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm - intimacy - by The Soul Of A Damned Queef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

#21346989
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8802) - you deserved it (2267)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm - kids - by 3722145 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my beloved dog. Why? Yesterday she asked me who I'd choose, and I honestly said that I would choose the dog. FML

#21346972
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11869) - you deserved it (6851)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:13pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my sister asked me how my boyfriend was doing. He died two years ago. She was the first person I told. FML

#21346806
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16648) - you deserved it (1147)

On 01/30/2015 at 1:11pm - misc - by lonesomegal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15528) - you deserved it (4276)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML

#21346273
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19434) - you deserved it (1464)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:00pm - health - by ThatWasntFun - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep curling my bangs. I now look like Mrs. Potato head. FML

#21345701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14113) - you deserved it (9189)

On 01/28/2015 at 5:20pm - misc - by WildShortstop13 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

#21345623
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (2034)

On 01/28/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML

#21345004
107 comments

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24200) - you deserved it (7596)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

#21344008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26576) - you deserved it (1922)

On 01/25/2015 at 1:21pm - work - by fartje - Netherlands

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (6580)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML

#21342878
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30083) - you deserved it (2640)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by uggg - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39974) - you deserved it (2479)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: