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krisderp

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krisderp

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 November 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 101
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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krisderp's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

#20168405
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38089) - you deserved it (5667)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25390) - you deserved it (1839)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (3432)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (4725)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15630) - you deserved it (29291)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

#20072649
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36680) - you deserved it (1985)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you deserved it (4007)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

#19399139
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5774) - you deserved it (32418)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:13am - misc - by Wannabees (woman) - Canada

Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML

#18195085
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (3030)

On 11/08/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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