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krisa96

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krisa96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 26
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About krisa96 : Italian Canadian :)

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krisa96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (4396)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40945) - you deserved it (2952)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49691) - you deserved it (8532)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39103) - you deserved it (8593)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35663) - you deserved it (7819)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19105) - you deserved it (4266)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (4213) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (1828)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24204) - you deserved it (13638)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7603) - you deserved it (23717)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (2006)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (5031)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

#19982867
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8177) - you deserved it (24432)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

#19763294
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (4897)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

#19405276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (1897)

On 04/04/2012 at 3:51am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



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