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krisa96's favorite FMLs
by tastetherainbow / 07/07/2013 at 6:55am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML
by anonymous / 11/10/2012 at 6:02am / United States / Love
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love
by StormSeason / 10/29/2012 at 8:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
by whoreticulturalist / 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy
by Nutellalover / 10/19/2012 at 10:19am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Health
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2012 at 2:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Rochelle / 07/25/2012 at 2:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
by rachiej8 / 06/10/2012 at 12:13am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 3:51am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside…