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krayzie2392

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krayzie2392
  • Town/Country : Miami, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 899
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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krayzie2392's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (71962)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

#19033928
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (1801)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Ouchies - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

#18929275
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6031) - you deserved it (48063)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

#18899300
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16778) - you deserved it (33893)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8569) - you deserved it (33445)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8569) - you deserved it (33445)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8569) - you deserved it (33445)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, there was a big snow storm and I wanted to help shovel, so I put on 3 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of pants, 2 winter coats, 2 pairs of gloves, a hat and a scarf. Once outside, I was told to go back inside because the job was done. FML

#18852124
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8816) - you deserved it (25729)

On 01/19/2012 at 9:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

#18843385
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:18am - health - by harshdoobie (man) - Canada

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32880) - you deserved it (2876)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (2941)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML

#18726895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9870) - you deserved it (24838)

On 01/06/2012 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Mexico (Zacatecas)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (20630)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

#18599933
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (5436)

On 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

#18585718
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (6918)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by badidea - United States (Minnesota)



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