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krayzie2392's favorite FMLs
by wallets / 02/29/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Work
by salt. / 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Jessica / 02/28/2012 at 2:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy
by Gabi / 02/20/2012 at 9:23am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 3:01am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada / Love
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
by cieee / 02/13/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML
by Ouchies / 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
by smith / 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom (York) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML
by WillaminaL / 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
- Today, after waiting weeks to hear back from his insurance agency, I got a call telling me that the… Today, My friend came into class and randomly decided to bite me hard enough to leave a bite marks… Today, I was turned down for a promotion, that I believed I was an excellent candidate for, on the…