krayzie2392

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Offline (the 09/12/2016 at 3:03am)

krayzie2392

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6231
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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krayzie2392's page activity

Visits<b>missa8604</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:48am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:11pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:50pm<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:48am<b>ehcanadianeh</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:18pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:06am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 8:37pm<b>BamaBorn</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 11:48pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:05am<b>Incognico</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 2:58pm<b>DaRito</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 7:01am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:32am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:33pm<b>smbridges</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:49am<b>Terri_Dactal</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:01am

krayzie2392's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of krayzie2392's badges

krayzie2392's favorite FMLs

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

by wallets / 02/29/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Work

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

by salt. / 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I got my score back for the monologue I performed. I got points taken off for "seeming nervous." My character was supposed to be nervous. FML

by Jessica / 02/28/2012 at 2:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

by Gabi / 02/20/2012 at 9:23am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 3:01am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada / Love

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

by cieee / 02/13/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

by Ouchies / 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

by smith / 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom (York) / Health

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

by WillaminaL / 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids