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krayzie2392

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krayzie2392
  • Town/Country : Miami, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 894
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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krayzie2392's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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krayzie2392's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35867) - you deserved it (3391)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

#19484468
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16831) - you deserved it (18578)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by phoneless - Jordan

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25366) - you deserved it (17681)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13132) - you deserved it (34868)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5859) - you deserved it (27494)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25251) - you deserved it (4749)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33016) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

#19324858
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8968) - you deserved it (30801)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking back to my hotel from the town square, and got lost. I turned back and walked around town for an hour, freaking out and panicking. When I finally found the hotel, I realized it was practically a stone's throw from where I was when I turned around. FML

#19313796
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13494) - you deserved it (5701)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Orebro Lan)

Today, since I was grounded, I tried to sneak out of my room to attend a party by climbing out the second-storey window and down the tree. I was unharmed, but I probably should have checked to see if my dad was in the garden before climbing down. FML

#19312594
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6074) - you deserved it (41343)

On 03/20/2012 at 5:47am - misc - by treehugger - Singapore

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

#19312458
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4950) - you deserved it (27262)

On 03/20/2012 at 4:16am - misc - by argh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

#19301849
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9375) - you deserved it (50325)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm - misc - by waitwhat (man) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
92 comments

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32884) - you deserved it (5253)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)



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