krayzie2392

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Offline (the 09/12/2016 at 3:03am)

krayzie2392

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6216
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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krayzie2392's page activity

Visits<b>missa8604</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:48am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:11pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:50pm<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:48am<b>ehcanadianeh</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:18pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:06am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 8:37pm<b>BamaBorn</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 11:48pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:05am<b>Incognico</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 2:58pm<b>DaRito</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 7:01am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:32am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:33pm<b>smbridges</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:49am<b>Terri_Dactal</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:01am

krayzie2392's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of krayzie2392's badges

krayzie2392's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Health

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

by fernie vazquez / 06/10/2012 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

by why... / 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

by liquid_sasquatch / 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML

by sickdisney / 05/21/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

by Vero / 05/17/2012 at 11:02am / Austria (Oberosterreich) / Love

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous