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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17384) - you deserved it (1307)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13447) - you deserved it (5974)
On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17786) - you deserved it (4583)
On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)
Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (5285)
On 08/11/2012 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dafuqdidihear (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4470) - you deserved it (32296)
On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (2313)
On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (2313)
On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22701) - you deserved it (1196)
On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15881) - you deserved it (4921)
On 07/06/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States
Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19968) - you deserved it (3567)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7314) - you deserved it (25563)
On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17752) - you deserved it (3017)
On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)
Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (2142)
On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18872) - you deserved it (10827)
On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (1654)
On 06/24/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by egc573 (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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