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krayzie2392's FML badges
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krayzie2392's favorite FMLs
Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML
by boundandgagged / 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by loveade11 / 01/12/2010 at 2:28pm / Transportation
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML
by Chewy / 01/05/2010 at 5:45am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Love
by Michelle / 12/27/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML
by SnowyConcussion / 12/23/2009 at 9:30am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by fatman / 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
by aawkward... / 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
by fatguyinalittlecoat / 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by flying_vegan / 12/06/2009 at 8:24am / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 4:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by NeedHeadPhone / 11/30/2009 at 11:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy