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krayzie2392's FML badges
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krayzie2392's favorite FMLs
Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML
by boundandgagged / 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by loveade11 / 01/12/2010 at 2:28pm / Transportation
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML
by Chewy / 01/05/2010 at 5:45am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Love
by Michelle / 12/27/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML
by SnowyConcussion / 12/23/2009 at 9:30am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by fatman / 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
by aawkward... / 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
by fatguyinalittlecoat / 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by flying_vegan / 12/06/2009 at 8:24am / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 4:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by NeedHeadPhone / 11/30/2009 at 11:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…