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krayzie2392

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krayzie2392
  • Town/Country : Miami, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 892
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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krayzie2392's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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krayzie2392's favorite FMLs

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14964) - you deserved it (44135)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57027) - you deserved it (5879) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (6818)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

#14549373
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35126) - you deserved it (3015)

On 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother told me to 'quit having a pity party'. I was just diagnosed with depression. I've lost my boyfriend, my job, my academic standing, and I just got rejected from every graduate school I applied for. And my mother thinks I'm a cry baby. Great. FML

#14394267
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34249) - you deserved it (7199)

On 12/30/2010 at 10:06am - health - by depressednupset (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML

#14138227
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25081) - you deserved it (4291)

On 12/09/2010 at 12:33am - love - by owew -

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

#14128244
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28780) - you deserved it (3333)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by ooblie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (2615)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

#14093222
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20938) - you deserved it (6872)

On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29050) - you deserved it (9992)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31416) - you deserved it (7381)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14241) - you deserved it (37876)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

#13733539
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7416) - you deserved it (27807)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)



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