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krayzie2392

Offline (the 11/06/2014 at 8:18pm) | Search for a member

krayzie2392

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  • Number of visits : 2047
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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krayzie2392's page activity

Visits<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:32am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 5:13am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:33pm<b>smbridges</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:49am<b>Terri_Dactal</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:01am<b>tpm45</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:27pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 7:26pm<b>Love_sosa</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:23am<b>Kautkto</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 8:53pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 9:27pm

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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krayzie2392's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57691) - you deserved it (4395)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59017) - you deserved it (10571)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39891) - you deserved it (4158)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65758) - you deserved it (21383)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49480) - you deserved it (8746)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79516) - you deserved it (7238)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58370) - you deserved it (9170)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (65639)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50379) - you deserved it (6725)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32752) - you deserved it (112179)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53429) - you deserved it (8649)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65849) - you deserved it (12651)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML



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