Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

krayzie2392

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

krayzie2392

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1643
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

krayzie2392's page activity

Visits<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 5:13am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:33pm<b>smbridges</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:49am<b>Terri_Dactal</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:01am<b>tpm45</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:27pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 7:26pm<b>Love_sosa</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:23am<b>Kautkto</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 8:53pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 9:27pm

krayzie2392's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of krayzie2392's badges

krayzie2392's favorite FMLs

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40303) - you deserved it (4491)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51996) - you deserved it (16824)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47402) - you deserved it (7217)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21772) - you deserved it (52000)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43148) - you deserved it (6041)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I am on vacation in Dubai with my dad and a few of his friends. I thought we were going to travel and see some amazing things, but I'm confined to my hotel room while everyone drinks and watches Family Guy. FML

#21123610
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40067) - you deserved it (4265)

On 04/26/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

#21122058
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42265) - you deserved it (7010)

On 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm - health - by AnonymousAndSad (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51951) - you deserved it (4692)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (3618)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48375) - you deserved it (9518)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55850) - you deserved it (8983)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51514) - you deserved it (18758)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57590) - you deserved it (4390)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58264) - you deserved it (10377)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: