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kportal69's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2010 at 9:25am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML
by Claire / 09/29/2010 at 1:59am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML
by Lewis / 09/04/2010 at 7:02am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
by Jesska / 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm / United States (New York) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…