kportal69

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kportal69

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 19 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2529
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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kportal69's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Maverick</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 6:21pm<b>jcates2685</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:10am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:40pm<b>Gimanos</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 6:03pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 4:45pm<b>LordlyFountain0</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 9:26pm<b>weird_adult</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:49pm<b>StarkWolf</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 3:34am<b>ganganinjas</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:59am<b>edenxero</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:45pm<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:43pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:54am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:55am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:17am<b>jacob111</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:45am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 5:44am<b>not_your_taco</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:16am<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:07pm

Fucked!<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 10:48am<b>jet223</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:28pm<b>lurch87</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:40pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm

kportal69's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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kportal69's favorite FMLs

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

by sydysyd / 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

by grimatwork / 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML

by MissTrix / 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Geek

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

by Oriianna Raiinbow / 10/23/2010 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 9:42am / Reserved / Work

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 6:50am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

by Dilly / 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2010 at 5:41am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy