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kportal69

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kportal69

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 19 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1604
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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kportal69's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

#15588696
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45974) - you deserved it (7498)

On 04/01/2011 at 11:55am - misc - by WTF? - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13726) - you deserved it (69049)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107201) - you deserved it (6435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

#15162100
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13362) - you deserved it (40463)

On 03/01/2011 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47783) - you deserved it (13758)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

#15141244
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47570) - you deserved it (3785)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69536) - you deserved it (6556)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36534) - you deserved it (6060)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34599) - you deserved it (6398)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12026) - you deserved it (46656)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

#14550494
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (36459)

On 01/12/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by mad dude -

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68404) - you deserved it (3647)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37346) - you deserved it (7471)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

#14460417
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43462) - you deserved it (5271)

On 01/04/2011 at 5:56am - intimacy - by LoveMyNewBro -

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61945) - you deserved it (4875)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -



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