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kpkammer

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kpkammer
  • Town/Country : Chicago, IL, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 March 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 4048
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kpkammer's favorite FMLs

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

#43502
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63926) - you deserved it (6619)

On 02/14/2009 at 7:38pm - misc - by NeverCampingAgain (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight, huh?". FML

#41916
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31131) - you deserved it (5000)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by faye (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42730) - you deserved it (7102)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33906) - you deserved it (2835)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

#34266
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45023) - you deserved it (7041)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77124) - you deserved it (9993)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML

#30954
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41211) - you deserved it (3657)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by cdaniel2 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

#24019
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44638) - you deserved it (7547)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

#22681
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31746) - you deserved it (5222)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by thunder thighs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML

#22263
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38609) - you deserved it (12453)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

#21964
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35637) - you deserved it (2893)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by herpderp (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76145) - you deserved it (23619)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8992) - you deserved it (62157)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my on-and-off boyfriend of 8 years asked me to cheer him up. I told him that I'm in love with him. He said "Oh, I just wanted a blowjob." FML

#18490
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34569) - you deserved it (7504)

On 02/09/2009 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by leelee50 (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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