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kpkammer

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kpkammer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 March 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4166
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kpkammer's page activity

Visits<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 12:38pm<b>broken_lungs</b> - the 03/12/2009 at 5:50pm

kpkammer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kpkammer's favorite FMLs

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

#123831
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48671) - you deserved it (5466)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (142941) - you deserved it (11814)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11598) - you deserved it (45041)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

#75712
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43074) - you deserved it (2483)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48163) - you deserved it (9787)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24426) - you deserved it (57374)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17452) - you deserved it (46048)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
504 comments

I agree, your life sucks (230454) - you deserved it (80621)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML

#55027
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55089) - you deserved it (9119)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by LALALA3 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

#54346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11087) - you deserved it (61868)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9905) - you deserved it (69036)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46050) - you deserved it (6221)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

#47954
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27713) - you deserved it (44858)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40449) - you deserved it (5661)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)



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