About kpetrovski : Music Composer, University educated pianist, taken, Doctor Who fanatic.
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kpetrovski's favorite FMLs
by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
by Disgruntled / 03/16/2016 at 8:01am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by weirdoe / 02/07/2016 at 4:17am / Italy (Sicilia) / Intimacy
by Sittinginthecorner / 01/20/2016 at 12:42am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/20/2016 at 12:05am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 11:05am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
by anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 11:34am / Luxembourg / Work
Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML
by busmonster / 09/11/2015 at 8:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/08/2015 at 8:03pm / Kids
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML
by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids
Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML
by fuck you btichass cuntshit / 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous