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Today... a woman startd giving me grief because we didn't ave any Boxing Day sales. As I explaind to er tat dollar store don't usually ave sales... se trid to lamp me. It endd by er getting draggd out of te store. FML
Today, a girl an I were flirting an it was going well !! Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her !! She smiled flirtatiously an said "Why don't u try it an find out?" I went in 4 a kiss, an she slapped me !! FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeon at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeon moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today... I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom... an I endd up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in an break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washd up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
TODAY, I TAUGHT MY KID HOW TO MOW THE LAWN. IT'S A SELF-PROPELLING MOWER SO IT'S EASY TO HANDLE. MY KID THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SMART TO TIE THE HANDLE DOWN SO THAT HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUSH IT AT ALL. THIS RESULTED IN THE LAWN MOWER BLASTING THROUGH OUR FENCE AND SINKING INTO MY NEIGHBOR'S POOL. FML
Today I was on a train when we hit and killd a person. We were stalld for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me askd what I did for a living so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showd me his infectd elbow. FML
Today.. . mah boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when mah 4 year old sister walked in . She thought we were making a dog pile.. . so just as soon as mah boyfriend was about to finish.. . she jumped on his back . FML
Today I slipped on mah icy front porch fell back and hit mah head on the step. I tried to get up but lost mah balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see mah very hot British Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
yastarday I want to a concart. Thay had this faatura whara you could sand a pictura of somathing from your call phona an thay'd puttad it on tha big scraans, so I sant a pictura of mysalf in. Whan tha pictura cummad up on tha scraans, tha antira crowd of about 4,000 paopla want, "Ewwww!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015