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knucky98

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knucky98

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  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 487
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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knucky98's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14808) - you deserved it (38482)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (2120)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

#20014051
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (3415)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by shira512 (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

#20013942
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (2528)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by nalathelionqueen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (2897)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

#20012679
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31281) - you deserved it (4110)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:37am - work - by mike h - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML

#20012106
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8611) - you deserved it (25491)

On 08/09/2012 at 8:02pm - animals - by couchsurfer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

#20011862
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6055) - you deserved it (34039)

On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)

Today, I found myself actively concerned about what the characters from "Will and Grace" have been doing since the show went off the air. FML

#20011081
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6088) - you deserved it (14599)

On 08/09/2012 at 6:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

#20010874
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (2092)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:44am - intimacy - by rxcrs3 - United States

Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

#20009878
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17877) - you deserved it (40965)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29000) - you deserved it (3137)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

#20009087
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30043) - you deserved it (3997)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

#20008728
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21719) - you deserved it (2398)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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