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knucky98

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knucky98

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  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 521
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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knucky98's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

#20022569
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26214) - you deserved it (4878)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36817) - you deserved it (4073)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23148) - you deserved it (7882)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML

#20021726
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36108) - you deserved it (2071)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

#20020595
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (1621)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

#20020512
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19664) - you deserved it (1374)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

#20020463
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (1854)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:02am - love - by WELLFUCKYOUTOO (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

#20020225
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32687) - you deserved it (1680)

On 08/14/2012 at 5:06am - love - by cclllc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (4395)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12172) - you deserved it (33795)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

#20018436
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34956) - you deserved it (4819)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46843) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

#20016166
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15108) - you deserved it (9322)

On 08/12/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by FlorenceD - United States (Texas)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (8580)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)



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