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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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knight0748

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knight0748
  • Town/Country : New York, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 March 1981 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 1311
  • Number of comments : 171
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About knight0748 : A freelance photographer and DP.
www.xrenimages.com

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knight0748's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML

#16310426 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (2467)

On 05/23/2011 at 7:58am - kids - by Bad Parent -

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (13114)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

#16301651 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (35994) - you deserved it (2386)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589 (330)

I agree, your life sucks (58312) - you deserved it (2527)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

#16277413 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (26673) - you deserved it (5149)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by wolfie898 - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408 (348)

I agree, your life sucks (15415) - you deserved it (44140)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131 (507)

I agree, your life sucks (34368) - you deserved it (5658)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281 (402)

I agree, your life sucks (53679) - you deserved it (5477)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

#15828645 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (5750)

On 04/17/2011 at 11:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213 (864)

I agree, your life sucks (54660) - you deserved it (9534)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627 (352)

I agree, your life sucks (6604) - you deserved it (1465)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

#15675353 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (25705) - you deserved it (6991)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by 1337fade (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (27206) - you deserved it (2897)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML

#12657778 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (13536) - you deserved it (20175)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (4021)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States