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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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kniferomance

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kniferomance
  • Town/Country : Denver, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 March 1988 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 3389
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML

#9186653 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (2319)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:48pm - love - by YouAREthefather (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

#9184901 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (42939) - you deserved it (4389)

On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

#9182520 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (20859) - you deserved it (3046)

On 03/18/2010 at 8:20am - money - by Anna (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom told me that she doesn't want me to help any of my friends get a job at the restaurant I work at. Apparently, she thinks that they would do a better job than me and get me fired. FML

#9181946 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (2690)

On 03/18/2010 at 7:15am - work - by son (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML

#9179900 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (20384) - you deserved it (2717)

On 03/18/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

#9178637 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (2233)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:45am - work - by xUnluckyx - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

#9177145 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (14615) - you deserved it (5313)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by knews - United States (Missouri)

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past couple months broke it off with me. She said she's tired of waiting around for me and being ignored in the mean time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so greedy as to finish my 2 degrees and work 2 jobs to pay for my school. How selfish of me. FML

#9175819 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (12513)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Lonely (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. While I was waiting for him to get ready, I saw a little purple change purse on his dresser. I picked it up, shook it and heard what I assumed was change clanging around in there, so I opened it and out of it poured about ten human teeth into my hand. FML

#9173675 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (10194) - you deserved it (18823)

On 03/17/2010 at 10:58pm - misc - by Rachael (woman) - United States (Idaho)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom walked me to school to make sure I don't cut class. I'm 20 years old. FML

#9169720 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (17263) - you deserved it (7733)

On 03/17/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by My mom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I brought my boyfriend home to my parents' house. My mom said that he had a powerful name. When he asked what she meant by that, she said she thinks my boyfriend would be good in bed. Why had I brought my boyfriend home? To tell my parents we were engaged. We're not anymore. FML

#9165958 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (2276)

On 03/17/2010 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (25231) - you deserved it (2565)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that when my parents offered to help me pay for college, what they really meant is they would get the forms for me to apply for student loans. FML

#9160744 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (17951) - you deserved it (3078)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:03pm - money - by thanxguys (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went in for a doctors appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

#9160182 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (14664) - you deserved it (6256)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:26pm - health - by Betty (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

#9158152 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (14987) - you deserved it (3362)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:15pm - health - by patrick - United States