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knappsack09

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knappsack09

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knappsack09's page activity

Visits<b>testtest2</b> - the 11/27/2012 at 12:17pm

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knappsack09's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37046) - you deserved it (10086)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19089) - you deserved it (29446)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49117) - you deserved it (8013)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML

#15846302
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (4082)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

#15844364
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8514) - you deserved it (74267)

On 04/19/2011 at 6:03am - animals - by sore (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36859) - you deserved it (15395)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

#15842272
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28660) - you deserved it (3796)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:30am - health - by norestforthewicked -

Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML

#15841509
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11531) - you deserved it (35629)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her wedding pictures because I looked fat in my bridesmaid's dress. FML

#15835371
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43076) - you deserved it (7346)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by samikai523 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

#15835287
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33161) - you deserved it (3927)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

#15833093
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58338) - you deserved it (4392)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:09am - work - by davka -

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

#15811020
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (7926)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by overflowing - United States (Texas)

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

#15805377
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (3465)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:46am - misc - by inalotofpain (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38790) - you deserved it (6341)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

#15804497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (4225)

On 04/16/2011 at 4:39am - love - by Username - United States



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