Today, I surfed FML. FML
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7045) - you totally deserved it (27399)
On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2855) - you totally deserved it (61415)
On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today while cleaning up I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you totally deserved it (1897) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. At school I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4973) - you totally deserved it (22355) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4225) - you totally deserved it (55909)
On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25334) - you totally deserved it (1029)
On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I tried to help a large, elderly nun who had slipped. She was stuck and wedged in on a concrete ramp. So I stood facing her, feet braced against hers, and pulled. Not only did I drop her, but I got a wicked view of her panties and crotch. I'm sure I'm going to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21354) - you totally deserved it (2169)
On 09/11/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by KarmaGirl (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11581) - you totally deserved it (32932)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I went to this meditation center which my mom suggested to get mental peace as I have been hating my job and life for some time now. I drove for an hour and then walked around in scorching Indian sun for 2 hours trying to locate the damn place. I got lost and returned home angrier than ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20728) - you totally deserved it (4194)
On 08/23/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by zboy_123 (man) - India (Haryana)
Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15414) - you totally deserved it (24347)
On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you totally deserved it (4928)
On 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by StellarSapience (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you totally deserved it (5107)
On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88734) - you totally deserved it (19196)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55238) - you totally deserved it (4303)
On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - love - by Troy (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6618) - you totally deserved it (102608)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)
