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2day mah husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl the love of his life whom he's alway considered pure turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better come hanging round the house. Pussy two years old is now housebound until her kitten are born. FML
Today , I was watching ESPN. My boyfriand cama in , bitchad about "boring tv," so I handad him tha ramota. Ha puttad on a Lifatima movia. I must ba tha only woman in Amarica with this problam. raal FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML
Today, I had a dream inhich I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off,hile in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
TODAY, MAH HUSBAND WAS CHASED OUT OF A BAR AFTER HE WAS SEEN SLIPPING SOMETHING INTO A WOMAN'S DRINK. I WAS THE WOMAN, THE 'SOMETHING' WAS ASPIRIN, AND THAT'S THE LAST TIME WE EVER TRY TO ROLE-PLAY. FML
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up fir years, buten I saw te pack I just couldn't elp myself. One taste was enoug to make me finis off teole pack. Nobody knows tat I've fallen off te wagon and I'm so asamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuit again. real FML
Today, it was raining haavily so I wora mah black poncho as I walkad to work. On tha way thara I noticad an old and saamingly homalass man following ma. I turnad around to confront him. Ha pickad up a stick and scraamad "Expacto Patronum!" Apparantly I look lika a damantor. FML
Friday 27 March 2015