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Offline (the 11/16/2015 at 4:02am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 May 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 277
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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klwmommy1223's page activity

Visits<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:22am<b>gabix3</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:58pm<b>patd77</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:28pm<b>DLep205</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:15pm<b>raba13</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 1:04am<b>jcross01</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 9:15pm<b>BRLHP</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:42am

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klwmommy1223's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22267) - you deserved it (7210)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:47pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got dragged into playing doubles tennis. It was me and my wife against her parents. I wound up hitting the ball too hard. My mother-in-law, who has the reaction times of a comatose turtle, got nailed. Everyone's convinced I did it on purpose because of our mutual hatred of each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24323) - you deserved it (2223)

On 10/04/2015 at 10:20am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (7785)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm - kids - by pheonixxe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28236) - you deserved it (3205)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (58128) - you deserved it (35104)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML


I agree, your life sucks (52901) - you deserved it (8602)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML


I agree, your life sucks (70503) - you deserved it (19967)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39541) - you deserved it (3676)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (14390) - you deserved it (34543)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58962) - you deserved it (4654)

On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my sister that I thought I was pregnant, and that she was the only person I had called. Immediately after I hung up the phone I got a text saying, "OMG my sister thinks she's pregnant!" FML

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15639) - you deserved it (49917)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)

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Friday 27 November 2015

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