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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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klutzywriter

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klutzywriter
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 51300
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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klutzywriter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

#1224721 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (21037) - you deserved it (41764)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (78792) - you deserved it (16017)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML

#889248 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (58583) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm - kids - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

#858893 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (52765) - you deserved it (11910)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (176) - you deserved it (18649)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363115) - you deserved it (401463)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179 (668)

I agree, your life sucks (538234) - you deserved it (47604)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)