About klovemachine : I enjoy FML. It is good for a few laughs. Any comments I make are meant to be humorous, but I will strike out from time to time
My profile picture features my cat, Oreo. I love my kitty
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Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger then me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (29563)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26808) - you deserved it (6521)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38826) - you deserved it (11455)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10365) - you deserved it (31967)
On 09/08/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by NoMoreHeadphones (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47066) - you deserved it (3322)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47903) - you deserved it (5685)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10689) - you deserved it (79565)
On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by alieyoubelieve (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49856) - you deserved it (4178)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15620) - you deserved it (56236)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15620) - you deserved it (56236)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15620) - you deserved it (56236)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60701) - you deserved it (8173)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42400) - you deserved it (14172)
On 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by onehundredpercenteffed (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45897) - you deserved it (15272)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40764) - you deserved it (16100)
On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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