About klovemachine : I enjoy FML. It is good for a few laughs. Any comments I make are meant to be humorous, but I will strike out from time to time
My profile picture features my cat, Oreo. I love my kitty
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Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19223) - you deserved it (1545)
On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16808) - you deserved it (15771)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16808) - you deserved it (15771)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27438) - you deserved it (3953)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:18pm - misc - by uHazFailedTotall - Norway (Rogaland)
Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14080) - you deserved it (4910)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to apply for a credit card to help build up my credit rating. It seemed smart since I'm a 24 year old college graduate. I was rejected for not having a credit history. Being rejected turns out to hurt your credit history. The irony of my predicament is too great for words. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (1751)
On 02/24/2010 at 2:13pm - money - by creditwhore (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6339) - you deserved it (14627)
On 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by lendahandmanda (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13926) - you deserved it (3097)
On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9921) - you deserved it (3219)
On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19542) - you deserved it (3041)
On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17399) - you deserved it (2522)
On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14064) - you deserved it (3956)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7367) - you deserved it (42156)
On 02/05/2010 at 5:35am - love - by hickey (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5337) - you deserved it (26240)
On 02/03/2010 at 3:10pm - misc - by adam - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26190) - you deserved it (7206)
On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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