About klovemachine : I enjoy FML. It is good for a few laughs. Any comments I make are meant to be humorous, but I will strike out from time to time
My profile picture features my cat, Oreo. I love my kitty
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (6530)
On 05/15/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by lackadaisy_leah - United States
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34755) - you deserved it (5946)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42216) - you deserved it (4724)
On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39245) - you deserved it (6392)
On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)
Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44157) - you deserved it (5796)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (5708)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47316) - you deserved it (3364)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36227) - you deserved it (15884)
On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32862) - you deserved it (27171)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)
Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44613) - you deserved it (18131)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43553) - you deserved it (4991)
On 04/23/2013 at 7:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42824) - you deserved it (5429)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34581) - you deserved it (5563)
On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20745) - you deserved it (41595)
On 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Bulgaria (Sofiya)
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57625) - you deserved it (3128)
On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
