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kkkkkkkkkka's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/21/2015 at 9:56am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
by anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 11:34am / Luxembourg / Work
Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I am 1,000 days sober and drug-free. I suffer from depression and I am craving terribly. I have a migraine and a bladder infection. And I can deal with all of this. But what I can't deal with is my dipshit coworker asking if I want to go out for drinks and snort cocaine to celebrate. FML
by Tattoo_Freak / 08/14/2015 at 7:08am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
by madisonnkelly / 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML
by Arcanin3Boss / 06/23/2015 at 2:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML
by AndyClara / 06/14/2015 at 4:27pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML
by KingFML1 / 06/14/2015 at 1:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by skid / 06/02/2015 at 10:59am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by pheonixxe / 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm / United States (Wyoming) / Kids
by boss_daughter / 05/20/2015 at 8:03am / United States / Work
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very…