Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kjack49044

Offline (the 08/17/2014 at 3:02am) | Search for a member

kjack49044

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 490
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About kjack49044 : You laugh at my pain, I laugh at yours.
That is, if the FML team ever publishes me...FML

kjack49044's page activity

Visits<b>kawaii666</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:03am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:39pm<b>ksadhera</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:38am<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 12:49pm<b>littleteapot</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 12:16am<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:07pm<b>ayshas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Devin_Lloyd</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:41am<b>turtlecupcakes</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:22am<b>allie1121</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:50pm<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:16pm<b>izbechillin</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Juicylicious94</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:43am<b>niallo</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:34am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 10:22pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 9:47pm<b>grace31297</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:34pm<b>enphinitie</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 4:25pm

Liked!<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:49pm

kjack49044's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of kjack49044's badges

kjack49044's favorite FMLs

Today, an old man wantd to give me a tip fir bagging his groceries. He slippd some money as deep into mah pocket as he could, stroking mah thigh fir a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile an winkd before walking away. real FML

#21134110
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41684) - you deserved it (4125)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a brthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my brthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of ( Who the hell's this? ) FML

#21127076
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40254) - you deserved it (4357)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

YESTERDAY IT'S MAH BIRTHDAY. THE ONLY PEOPLEHO WISHD ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY WERE THE ONESHO SAW THE "BIRTHDAY BOY" POSTER MAH SISTER PLASTERD AROUND SCHOOL,HICH INCLUDD A PHOTO OF ME AS A KID DRESSD UP AS A GIRL. FML

#21114561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41378) - you deserved it (3891)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Yesterday I Watchd A Drunk Guy Getting Thrown Out Of A Bar, Then Get Tasd On The Sidewalk Outside. He Was Our Designatd Driver. FML

#21110183
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38946) - you deserved it (5423)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Taday My Boyfriend Told Me He Doesn't Know What It's Like To Be Turned On. Apparently , I've Been Doing Something Wrong Fir The Past Two Yeres. FML

#21094011
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47324) - you deserved it (6676)

On 03/23/2014 at 1:31am - intimacy - by BustedEgo (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I went down on the girl of mah dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I cummed back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59142) - you deserved it (11468)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up after a nigt out partying only to fine I'd wet te bd. I was so asamd tat I rolld ma girlfriend into it to avoid taking te blame.

#21042040
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21677) - you deserved it (57465)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, mah roommata,ho has bipolar disordar an rafusas to taka his mads, triad to stab ma with a kitchan knifa bacausa I thraw out his moldy chaasa. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44432) - you deserved it (5194)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today... I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming... peieng all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. mega FML

#21026318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21841) - you deserved it (48689)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, mah dog found out how to turn mah Xbox off . So whenever he wants attention, guess wat he does . FML

#21019316
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49540) - you deserved it (17653)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Taday I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I askd if she needd a hand. She calld me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64474) - you deserved it (7582)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I watchd mah father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He trid to play it cool, said, "Haircuts r too expensive these days anyway." and walkd out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. big fat FML

Taday I cummd home to a noise complaint letter tapd to mah apartment door . I haven't been home in over a month . FML

#20981967
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (2069)

On 12/05/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Lulu - United States (Missouri)

Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML

#20972170
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (14771)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: