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About kjack49044 : You laugh at my pain, I laugh at yours.
That is, if the FML team ever publishes me...FML
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Today, an old man wantd to give me a tip fir bagging his groceries. He slippd some money as deep into mah pocket as he could, stroking mah thigh fir a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile an winkd before walking away. real FML
Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a brthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my brthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of ( Who the hell's this? ) FML
YESTERDAY IT'S MAH BIRTHDAY. THE ONLY PEOPLEHO WISHD ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY WERE THE ONESHO SAW THE "BIRTHDAY BOY" POSTER MAH SISTER PLASTERD AROUND SCHOOL,HICH INCLUDD A PHOTO OF ME AS A KID DRESSD UP AS A GIRL. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
Today... I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming... peieng all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. mega FML
Today, I watchd mah father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He trid to play it cool, said, "Haircuts r too expensive these days anyway." and walkd out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. big fat FML
Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015