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kjack49044

Offline (the 08/17/2014 at 3:02am) | Search for a member

kjack49044

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 321
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About kjack49044 : You laugh at my pain, I laugh at yours.
That is, if the FML team ever publishes me...FML

kjack49044's page activity

Visits<b>ayshas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Devin_Lloyd</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:41am<b>turtlecupcakes</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:22am<b>allie1121</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:50pm<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:16pm<b>izbechillin</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Juicylicious94</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:43am<b>niallo</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:34am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 10:22pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 9:47pm<b>grace31297</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:34pm<b>enphinitie</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 4:25pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 9:19am<b>kemisha24131070</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 6:06am<b>dante_53</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:14pm<b>m5ar123</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:07pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 2:17pm<b>LiterOfCola</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:30am

kjack49044's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of kjack49044's badges

kjack49044's favorite FMLs

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

#21134110
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41573) - you deserved it (4107)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

#21127076
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38735) - you deserved it (4205)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

#21114561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (3813)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

#21110183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38812) - you deserved it (5412)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

#21094011
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47080) - you deserved it (6646)

On 03/23/2014 at 1:31am - intimacy - by BustedEgo (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58835) - you deserved it (11427)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (56078)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (5051)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (48551)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49381) - you deserved it (17592)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62560) - you deserved it (7352)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML

#20981967
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36588) - you deserved it (2064)

On 12/05/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Lulu - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (14721)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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