About kittytub : humans are silly.
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kittytub's favorite FMLs
Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML
by Koubz / 04/19/2010 at 8:07am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
by aaalias34 / 02/26/2010 at 6:13am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
by CrappyValentine / 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love
by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by teeeessst / 12/13/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by pussystroker / 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Intimacy
by 205 / 11/13/2009 at 4:23pm / United States / Transportation
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
by tampondealer / 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Transportation
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by elmalo68 / 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML
by TrainedBF / 09/12/2009 at 8:00am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML
by MrMagicMan000 / 08/25/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
- Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem,… Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw… Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom,…