About kittytub : humans are silly.
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Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (10614)
On 04/19/2010 at 8:07am - misc - by Koubz (man) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (6857)
On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6109) - you deserved it (24526)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (4636)
On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18687) - you deserved it (17687)
On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (25729)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (3870)
On 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19183) - you deserved it (2563)
On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, after getting my car completely fixed after it being damaged for a year, I was driving and the entire side panel on the car fell off. The repair man forgot to put the screws back in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (1181)
On 11/13/2009 at 4:23pm - misc - by 205 - United States
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23327) - you deserved it (1698)
On 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by tampondealer (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12622) - you deserved it (25841)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31527) - you deserved it (1848)
On 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by elmalo68 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (31279)
On 09/12/2009 at 8:00am - love - by TrainedBF (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37191) - you deserved it (3174)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35931) - you deserved it (3412)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:47am - animals - by MrMagicMan000 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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