About kittytub : humans are silly.
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kittytub's favorite FMLs
Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML
by Koubz / 04/19/2010 at 8:07am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
by aaalias34 / 02/26/2010 at 6:13am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
by CrappyValentine / 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love
by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by teeeessst / 12/13/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by pussystroker / 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Intimacy
by 205 / 11/13/2009 at 4:23pm / United States / Transportation
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
by tampondealer / 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Transportation
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by elmalo68 / 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML
by TrainedBF / 09/12/2009 at 8:00am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML
by MrMagicMan000 / 08/25/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…