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kittytub's favorite FMLs
by mariet / 02/11/2011 at 1:13am / United States / Health
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm / United States / Work
by nothingdoes / 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML
by Lewis / 09/04/2010 at 7:02am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML
by AlexaSt2611 / 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm / Paraguay (Central) / Intimacy
by FreeToFly3733 / 08/19/2010 at 7:25am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Geek
Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML
by Still Dry / 08/17/2010 at 10:01pm / United States / Money
by Bruce / 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by tstaeger / 07/24/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by RachelVanLannen9 / 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Allie / 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2010 at 7:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…
- Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the…