About kittytub : humans are silly.
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Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (6347)
On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)
Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8457) - you deserved it (71671)
On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15745) - you deserved it (41131)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7042) - you deserved it (64617)
On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32416) - you deserved it (17748)
On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (8157)
On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States
I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (6588)
On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52268) - you deserved it (9882)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28955) - you deserved it (5463)
On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51247) - you deserved it (7802)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (54842)
On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -
Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29522) - you deserved it (2168)
On 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38849) - you deserved it (7720)
On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (5581)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14048) - you deserved it (64585)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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