Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kittytub

Search for a member

kittytub

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1497
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kittytub : humans are silly.

kittytub's page activity

Visits<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:15am<b>TheInvisibleOne</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 10:21pm<b>lelouch988</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 2:04am<b>cwl727</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:23am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:57am<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 4:54pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:42pm<b>Roxibella</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 3:45pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:08am<b>Shlip_phlumkin</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:23pm<b>SirAnon</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 1:05pm<b>leagacysgirl</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 12:12am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:05am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 8:03pm<b>misteygirl</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 1:16pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm

kittytub's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of kittytub's badges

kittytub's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (8227)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10364) - you deserved it (94028)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18918) - you deserved it (45828)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

#17001302
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8478) - you deserved it (71829)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (23215)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38534) - you deserved it (10460)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41023) - you deserved it (8195)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60045) - you deserved it (12567)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (6899)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59146) - you deserved it (10087)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20213) - you deserved it (60812)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

#15416169
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34946) - you deserved it (2821)

On 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

#15401904
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45252) - you deserved it (9569)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38150) - you deserved it (7094)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18172) - you deserved it (82712)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: