Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kittytub

Search for a member

kittytub

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1390
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kittytub : humans are silly.

kittytub's page activity

Visits<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:15am<b>TheInvisibleOne</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 10:21pm<b>lelouch988</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 2:04am<b>cwl727</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:23am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:57am<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 4:54pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:42pm<b>Roxibella</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 3:45pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:08am<b>Shlip_phlumkin</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:23pm<b>SirAnon</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 1:05pm<b>leagacysgirl</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 12:12am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:05am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 8:03pm<b>misteygirl</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 1:16pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm

kittytub's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of kittytub's badges

kittytub's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (18996)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29958) - you deserved it (8556)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31477) - you deserved it (6229)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

#20188746
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22366) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19883) - you deserved it (3579)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7284) - you deserved it (32179)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (2085)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (2085)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (4212) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (69930)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25865) - you deserved it (2318)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (1254)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (2256)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (5341)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10546) - you deserved it (34379)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: