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kittycatxo's favorite FMLs
by serialkillingex / 05/07/2013 at 3:45am / Netherlands / Love
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Love
Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML
by walkingdead_1029 / 05/06/2013 at 2:49am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by wat_dafuq_bro / 05/06/2013 at 2:06am / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
by dancer, not a hooker... / 05/05/2013 at 1:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
by charishard / 05/04/2013 at 1:17am / United States (Texas) / Work
by annoyedgirl / 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML
by DeActivated / 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML
by SSeizeTheDay / 05/03/2013 at 4:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 11:00am / United States / Work
Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML
by clutzasaurus / 05/03/2013 at 1:35am / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…