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kittycatxo's favorite FMLs
Today, I was shopping, and tried on a skirt that was a size smaller than usual, thinking that I would fit in. Not only did it not fit, neither I nor the sales assistant could get it off me, because the zip got stuck. She had to cut me out of it. FML
by LtlCheeseburger / 05/31/2012 at 2:15pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids
Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML
by observant / 05/15/2012 at 10:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/15/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
by smh / 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML
by jessye1182 / 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Mouhahaa / 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm / France / Love
by Anonymous / 05/03/2012 at 7:37am / Australia / Kids
by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
by -insert clever nickname here- / 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
by KC / 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids
by MI3 / 04/19/2012 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health