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kittycatxo's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML
by onlyme / 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by bill / 10/24/2012 at 7:14am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML
by jeanrose2013 / 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML
by pinkfreak94 / 10/13/2012 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids
Today, I had a big argument with my girlfriend, after she tried to stop me going home, even though it was already past my curfew. I got home, only to find out I'm grounded for staying out late, and dumped for being "inconsiderate". FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2012 at 2:27pm / Philippines (Rizal) / Love
by praise the prenup / 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML
by dontrapeme / 09/26/2012 at 6:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
by snowbell18 / 09/25/2012 at 3:08am / United States / Work
Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:01am / United States / Intimacy
by thanksfamily / 09/18/2012 at 7:22am / United States (Maryland) / Love
- Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it… Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night… Today, I put some of my wife's eucalyptus oil in my bath to make it relaxing. I soon found out the…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m in Rome for Halloween. I went out with few friends and spent the night with a man. The…