kittycatxo

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kittycatxo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15358
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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kittycatxo's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 4:41pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 7:55pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:17pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 12:35pm<b>slackerjoe</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 11:14am<b>theworldisflat</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:57pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 11:41pm<b>damwoods</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 6:26pm<b>Gunguy</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:53am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 10:47pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 10:07pm<b>Tate_43</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 6:49pm<b>bkarp911</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 9:59am<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 5:34pm<b>macorncob</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 8:37am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 5:51am<b>Faith13</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 4:06am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 2:47pm

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kittycatxo's favorite FMLs

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 12:40am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

by embarrassedmom / 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2013 at 3:24am / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

by Tag / 08/31/2013 at 12:30am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

by >_< / 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

by -_- / 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm / United States (Hawaii) / Money

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

by charlieg9 / 08/30/2013 at 8:33am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids

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