About kittycat1597 : hi my names jessica im lesbian and deathly afraid of moths. I'm a professional dancer also
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kittycat1597's favorite FMLs
by ripfluffy / 09/28/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML
by misstree / 09/07/2009 at 4:23am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
by auslander / 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Miscellaneous
by N1ch0la1 / 08/08/2009 at 5:35am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals
Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML
by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by WhitneyHouston / 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
by Hackmanjones / 06/13/2009 at 10:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML
by XLhottie / 06/06/2009 at 2:48am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML
by embarrassedmom / 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by LadyLuck / 05/10/2009 at 1:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML
by systeminitiated / 05/02/2009 at 12:55am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML
by NotAmericanIdol / 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found… Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I… Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he…