Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kittycat1597

Offline (the 01/31/2015 at 11:03pm) | Search for a member

kittycat1597

1Fucked!

kittycat1597
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1848
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kittycat1597 : hi my names jessica im lesbian and deathly afraid of moths. I'm a professional dancer also

kittycat1597's page activity

Visits<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:06am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:20am<b>aruden</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:17pm<b>spatula232</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:37am<b>jezzilla</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:50am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 9:03pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:37am<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:03am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:00pm<b>whitelightning19</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 4:09pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 7:24am<b>ChaCerCam1</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:52pm<b>tabbydionysis</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:42am<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:43pm<b>abattior</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:00pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 12:02am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:33am<b>cwhitt975</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:57pm

Fucked!<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 10:01pm

kittycat1597's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of kittycat1597's badges

kittycat1597's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (6960)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (2057)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (1965)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30981) - you deserved it (5268)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23708) - you deserved it (2081)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (3187)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

#19998464
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12747) - you deserved it (19345)

On 08/02/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by purplexangel (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6519) - you deserved it (46540)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML

#19640453
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6481) - you deserved it (46566)

On 05/18/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by Karmaisabitch - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (2832)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (4097)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (3201)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

#19536955
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (2282)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

#19484468
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (21916)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by phoneless - Jordan

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
587 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14226) - you deserved it (56216) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: