About kittycat1597 : hi my names jessica im lesbian and deathly afraid of moths. I'm a professional dancer also
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kittycat1597's favorite FMLs
Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML
by asthmattack / 01/25/2013 at 1:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
by milkshake / 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML
by chunderful202 / 12/24/2012 at 3:46am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 8:59am / United States / Kids
by mountains / 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health
Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML
by Me / 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm / United States / Transportation
by john r.t. / 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Spoilicious / 11/05/2012 at 10:58am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love
by BobsBabe2 / 10/24/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…